she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
What a dumb baby whore.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
