I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
