I've blown a few things in my day
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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