I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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