Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
