hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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