you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
