Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My sheets look like a crime scene.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
