I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
