You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
