So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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