i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
