I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
