I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
