i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
