it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize