When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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