Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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