I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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