she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
