problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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