When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
