Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
