Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
