pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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