So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
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