one two three fourrrrnication!
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
