At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
