Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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