I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Randomize