he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
