I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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