He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
