What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
