Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
