oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
