whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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