susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
