My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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