I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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