i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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