i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
be right there i have to get my cape
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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