he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
