I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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