Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
