How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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