If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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