she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize