Whod you bang
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
