May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
