Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
