Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
