it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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