Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
