He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
