i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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