I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
