I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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