Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Dick very happy bro
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