You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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