bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
